Some Of My Favorite Mamet Quotes
From Sexual Perversity in Chicago, 1974
BERNIE: So into the old shower. And does this broad have a body?
DANNY: Yeah?
BERNIE: Are you kidding me?
DANNY: So tell me.
BERNIE: The tits...
DANNY: Yeah?
BERNIE: The legs...
DANNY: The ass?
BERNIE: Are you fucking fooling me? The ass on this broad...
DANNY: Young ass, huh?
BERNIE: Well yeah, young broad, young ass.
DANNY: Right.
BERNIE: And lathering her...
DANNY: Mmmm.
BERNIE: And drop the soap... This, that, and we get out. Toweling off, each of us in his or her full glory. So while we're toweling off, I flick the towel at her, very playfully, and by accident it catches her a good one on her ass, and thwack, a big red mark.
DANNY: No.
BERNIE: So I'm all sorry and so forth. But what does this broad do but let out a squeal of pleasure and relief that would fucking kill a horse.
DANNY: Huh?
BERNIE: So what the hell, I'm liberal.
DANNY: If that's her act, that's her act.
BERNIE: Goes without saying. So I look around, figuring to follow in my footsteps, and what is handy but this little G.E. clock radio. So I pick the mother up and heave it at her. Catches her across the shoulder blades, and we've got this long welt.
DANNY: Draw blood?
BERNIE: At this point, no...
Copyright © 1974 by David Mamet
From Glengarry Glen Ross, 1984
AARONOW: How many leads have we got?
MOSS: The Glengarry... the premium leads... ? I'd say we got five thousand. Five. Five thousand leads.
AARONOW: And you're saying a fella could take and sell these leads to Jerry Graff.
MOSS: Yes.
AARONOW: How do you know he'd buy them?
MOSS:: Graff? Because I worked for him.
AARONOW: You haven't talked to him.
MOSS:: No. What do you mean? Have I talked to him about this? (Pause.)
AARONOW: Yes. I mean are you actually talking about this, or are we just...
MOSS: No, we're just...
AARONOW: We're just "talking" about it.
MOSS: We're just speaking about it. (Pause.) As an idea.
AARONOW: As an idea.
MOSS: Yes.
AARONOW: We're not actually talking about it.
MOSS: No.
AARONOW: Talking about it as a...
MOSS: No.
AARONOW: As a robbery.
MOSS: As a "robbery"?! No.
AARONOW: Well. Well...
MOSS: Hey. (Pause.)
AARONOW: So all this, um, you didn't, actually, you didn't actually go talk to Graff.
MOSS: Not actually, no. (Pause.)
AARONOW: You didn't?
MOSS: No. Not actually.
AARONOW: Did you?
MOSS: What did I say?
AARONOW: What did you say?
MOSS: Yes. (Pause.) I said, "Not actually." The fuck you care, George? We're just talking...
AARONOW: We are?
MOSS: Yes. (Pause.)
AARONOW: Because, because, you know, it's a crime.
MOSS: That's right. It's a crime. It is a crime. It's also very safe.
AARONOW: You're actually talking about this?
MOSS: That's right. (Pause.)
AARONOW: You're going to steal the leads?
Copyright © 1982, 1983 by David Mamet
From Speed The Plow, 1988
GOULD: Okay, Okay. That's enough.
FOX: I beg your pardon.
GOULD: I said that's enough. Get out.
FOX: Fuck you.
GOULD: Fuck me. Fuck me in hell. Fuck me in hell, pal. You read the plaque on my door. I am your superior. Now, I've made my decision. I'm sorry it hurt you.
FOX: It hurt me? You ruined my life.
GOULD: Be that as it may.
FOX: I see.
GOULD: Now, I have a meeting.
FOX: Would you tell me why?
GOULD: I told you why. Because I've found something that's right.
FOX: I can't buy that.
GOULD: Then "why" is because I say so.
FOX: And eleven years down the drain.
GOULD: I'm sorry. (Pause.)
Copyright © 1988, Wheatland Corporation
From American Buffalo, 1978
DON: ... Now: What do you see me eat when I come in here every day?
BOB: Coffee.
DON: Come on, Bob, don't fuck with me. I drink a little coffee... but what do I eat?
BOB: Yogurt.
DON: Why?
BOB:: Because it's good for you.
DON: You're goddamn right. And it wouldn't kill you to take a vitamin.
BOB:: They're too expensive.
DON: Don't worry about it. You should just take 'em.
BOB: I can't afford 'em.
DON: Don't worry about it.
BOB: You'll buy some for me?
DON: Do you need 'em?
BOB: Yeah.
DON: Well, then, I'll get you some. What do you think?
BOB: Thanks, Donny.
DON: It's for your own good. Don't thank me...
BOB: Okay.
DON: I just can't use you in here like a zombie.
BOB: I just went around the back.
DON: I don't care. Do you see? Do you see what I'm getting at? Pause.
BOB: Yeah. Pause.
DON: Well, we'll see.
BOB: I'm sorry, Donny.
TEACH (appears in the doorway and enters the store): Good morning.
BOB: Morning, Teach.
TEACH (walks around the store a bit in silence): Fuckin' Ruthie, fuckin' Ruthie, fuckin' Ruthie, fuckin' Ruthie, fuckin' Ruthie.
Copyright © 1978, Grove Press
This page was created by Jason Charnick, B.A. in Psychology at Boston University.
Last Updated 4/3/98.
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